Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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