Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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