so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
