Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Pappa wants mamma naked
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
