I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
