We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
