I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
