So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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