you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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