Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
