Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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