No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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