if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
We left the knife in your bed.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
