This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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