if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
