didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I know her cup size but not her name....
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
