trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
