Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
