Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
