There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
The struggles of a small town man whore
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize
