When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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