Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
