it was like having sex with a tree stump
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
