dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
