once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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