My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
