so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
