Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
