The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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