don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
