dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
