we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
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