Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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