There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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