Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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