her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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