You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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