dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
