he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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