Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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