Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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