With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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