I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
