I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
