my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
