What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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