I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
