I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Drake has all the answers
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
