The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
