We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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